Lately, there has been another wave of “text your ex” challenges on social media (some are pranks while others seem open to reconciliation). Tik Tok and You Tube are full of people who have decided to reach out to an ex and text them random song lyrics.
Could the current health crisis be the reason or are people just looking for a cruel way to entertain their social media followers? Showbiz Cheat Sheet spoke with relationship expert Jaime Bronstein to get her take on this unusual challenge.
Showbiz Cheat Sheet: Could you briefly explain what the text-your-ex challenge is all about?
Jaime Bronstein: People are texting their ex lyricsto songs. For example: “Hello” by Adele. People are getting a kick out of howtheir exes are responding. Some exes are texting that they miss them as welland others are texting back messages of confusion and disbelief. Then the userposts the responses on to get more views and interactions on their page.
CS: In your opinion, why are people texting their ex?Is it because they’re afraid to be alone during a pandemic?
JB: One reason people are texting their ex is becausethey have so much more time now to think about them and the failed relationship.If someone isn’t over their ex, they might ruminate over what they could’vedone differently or how they wish it could’ve worked out, so they reach out totry and connect again.
In their pre-quarantine lives they were running around working, seeing friends. and staying busy, but now with the extra downtime they start dwelling in the past. They feel like they have nothing to lose, so they contact their ex regardless of whether or not the relationship was good. They just miss them, and they are lonely.
Another reason people are contacting their exes is purelyout of boredom. These people weren’t necessarily sad the relationship ended,and they don’t necessarily miss their ex. They’re bored and want to beentertained. Contacting an ex who you’renot interested in anymore, but you know still loves you, can be an ego boost. It’snot the most sensitive move to make, but it happens.
CS: What are more effective ways to reach out to anex?
JB: If someone genuinely misses their ex, aneffective way to reach out is to call them on the phone or text that you’d liketo talk to them and ask if there’s a time when you could talk on the phone. Youcould send your ex an authentic email from your heart and mention you’d like tocatch up on the phone because you miss them, and you’d like to hear about what’sgoing on in their life.
CS: When is it a bad idea to contact an ex?
JB: It’s a bad idea to contact an ex if you were inan abusive relationship. It’s a bad idea to contact an ex you know does notwant to get back together with you, because you will just end up getting hurtagain. It is a bad idea to contact an ex if you know you are 100% over them andyou don’t miss them, but you are just bored.
CS: How should you respond if an ex contacts you outof the blue and you don’t want to reconnect?
JB: If you don’t want to reconnect, just be honestthat you have moved on, and you appreciate them reaching out, but you don’t seea point in communicating.
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