Dealing with the death of a parent is heartbreaking enough. But when that death drives a wedge between a family, the devastation can be utterly unbearable.
Jax Taylor from Vanderpump Rules has been doing more than wearing his heart on his sleeve since his father passed away last year. The SUR bartender’s rough exterior has softened, perhaps after being emotionally wounded from the death. But also because he is struggling with how his mother handled his father’s illness.
As he is about to marry Brittany Cartwright, Taylor is trying to come to terms with how to include (or not) his mother in the wedding. During an extremely emotional moment during the Vanderpump Rules reunion, boss Lisa Vanderpump offered some advice–as a mother and someone who recently lost someone she loved dearly too.
This is why Taylor is upset with his mother
Taylor seemed to be close to his mother. She appeared on Vanderpump Rules and bonded with Vanderpump, even joking around about her son. Taylor also agrees he and his mother were close but the circumstances surrounding his father’s death changed everything.
“I used to be very close to my mom,” Taylor told Bravo’s The Daily Dish podcast. “Everybody’s like, I love your mom.” However, “We really haven’t communicated in the last six months, pretty much since my father [Ronald Cauchi] passed [in December 2017]. “
He adds his parent’s marriage was failing and his mom talked about leaving his father before he was diagnosed with cancer. “Toward the end, my mom would say, ‘Oh, he’s fine.’ We didn’t know he was in ICU; I would have been there in a heartbeat if I knew he was in ICU. I mean, I get it, my mother’s trying to protect my sister and I, but I should have been able to say goodbye to my dad.”
But what about the wedding?
During the season, Taylor would get choked up about not speaking with his mother during important events like his birthday or engagement party. When a fan asked on Twitter if he’s reached out to his mother he said he’d handle it when he was ready. “Please stop with this, I will handle it when ready, it’s taken me a long time to get here, I will handle my family as I please this is my situation not anyone else’s. Respect that. It’s a lot bigger than you think.”
Recently Taylor told Bravo’s The Daily Dish he and his sister were grappling with how to move forward with his mother. “It sucks; it really does. The problem I’m having right now is my wedding and whether or not she’s going to attend. So I’m back and forth.”
He added, “It’s a rough time right now and I’m trying to deal with it. I’m a pretty strong guy. I can deal with it and it’s my sister that I really worry about. My sister’s younger and she’s just really stressed. She works two jobs and she’s such a hard worker and she’s such a good wife to my brother-in-law. I just really worry about her. She stresses out a lot.”
Vanderpump had this advice for him
The topic came up during the reunion. Taylor became emotional when he talked about his family. He says he no longer has a family. But host Andy Cohen says he does: his mom. “But I don’t have a mom and dad,” Taylor insists.
Cohen says while he’s not “Dr. Phil” he reminds Taylor his mother is still here. Whether or not Taylor’s mother gets an invite is still up for debate. “You don’t think I want my mother there?” he asks. “Me getting married is a big deal.” Cohen reminds Taylor that life is short.
So Cohen turns to Vanderpump and asks her what she thinks. “She can see his pain,” Vanderpump says. “It’s incumbent upon her as a mother to reach out.” She reminds Taylor until recently he did have a relationship with his mother. And adds, “So you should say now that you wish she would reach out to you.” Cartwright turns to the camera and says, “Marie, please reach out to your son.” This brings Taylor to tears as he wonders why his mother didn’t call him when his father was dying.
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