QUENTIN LETTS: King Charles showed a scintilla of hesitation, as if he was thinking ‘good grief, who writes this tommyrot?’

All the King’s horses and all the King’s spin-doctors. By ye olde alchemy of ceremonial bling and modern political jargon, the King bestowed royal blessings on his first parliament.   

The last King’s Speech was more than 70 years ago. He delivered this one ‘mindful of the legacy of service and devotion to this country set by my beloved mother, the late Queen’.

Her late Majesty’s razor-posh accent always exuded cool dispassion when announcing a government’s legislative proposals. Charles’s voice? Less austere, not quite so deadpan. 

When he said ‘my government will change this country and build a better future’ there was a scintilla of hesitation, as if he was thinking ‘good grief, who writes this tommyrot?’

Alongside sat Camilla in a champagne-coloured Bruce Oldfield dress embroidered with the names of her grandchildren and images of her Jack Russells, Beth and Bluebell. 

King Charles III delivers a speech during the State Opening of Parliament in the House of Lords at the Palace of Westminster 

She and the King had entered the House of Lords chamber via separate doors, almost like characters on a Swiss clock. 

For one nasty second she nearly sat before him. Then she remembered that the Monarch must be first to take his throne, so she froze with her bottom suspended a few inches off the royal chair.

Crown-wearing is, for the King, a work in progress. He walked as if balancing a bag of flour on his head. The Queen wore the Diamond Diadem, gold set with hundreds of gems. How its sapphires and emeralds and rubies twinkled! 

The Duchess of Wellington’s jewels had been the talk of the morn but suddenly the tiara on Her Grace’s bonce could have been a cheapie from Ratners.

‘My government’s priority is to make the difficult but necessary long-term decisions… my government will invest in Network North to deliver faster and more reliable journeys… my ministers will introduce new legal frameworks to support the safe commercial development of emerging industries such as self-driving vehicles.’ This from one who had arrived in horse-drawn state carriage.

It was the Blair government that first obliged the monarch to speak like a think-tank wonk. This year we had a particularly nasty use of ‘progress’ as a transitive verb.

At state openings in recent years there were often spare seats. Not this historic time. 

The Lords was chocka: Peers, ambassadors, tabard-sporting heralds, kilted equerries, hot and cold-running flunkeys. Lord Carrington, the Lord Great Chamberlain, held a billiard cue. Lord de Mauley, Master of the Horse, stood near Princess Anne. 

We had more page boys than ever, for there were two royal trains to be carried. One of the little pages proudly wore a medal, quite possibly his swimming proficiency badge.

Peers’ spouses included the diarist Sasha Swire and Carrie Johnson’s friend Henry Newman, inamorato of Lord Verdirame KC. Lord Stansgate (Lab), heir of Tony Benn, took snapshots on his mobile. 

Lady Kennedy of the Shaws (Lab) wore wrist-bangles worthy of Kunta Kinte. Lord Gold (Con), mouth agape, could have been catching flies. 

Charles reads a speech at the State Opening of Parliament ceremony on TUesday November 7 2023

Antonia Romeo, permanent secretary at the Department of Justice, was cooed over by some male members of the Supreme Court. The historian Lord Roberts (Con), in ermine robes which date to Victorian days, appeared to be haloed by camphor.

Admiral Lord West (Lab) wore not only ermine but also naval uniform, complete with white gloves. 

The Clerk of Parliaments had a napkin as frilly as a chorus girl’s undies. Lord Altrincham (Con), who has gone quite blond with the years, was matched for youthfulness only by Lady Owen, 30, the baby of the Lords. 

At the back smouldered Lord Truscott, friend of the Kremlin. His wife, daughter of a Red Army colonel, also graced us with her presence, sans Kalashnikov.

As is the custom, Black Rod (needs a haircut) marched off to summon the Commons. As MPs arrived at the Bar of the Lords there was the customary chatter, but it lasted longer than normal and someone hissed ‘shushhhhhh!’. 

During the speech, Lord Flight (Con) rested his eyes – the better to concentrate on its royal magnificence, no doubt.

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