DEAR DEIDRE: WE’VE just found out that our eldest son is seriously ill – and, at the same time, that he can’t be my child.
He’s 22 and we have another son of 15.
The whole family is in turmoil. I’m his dad and I’m 45. My wife is 41.
Our relationship isn’t great, our sex life is almost non-existent.
I was surprised when my wife got pregnant with our younger son.
I’m a regular blood donor.
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Our eldest was diagnosed with leukaemia and when he’s had transfusions, his blood type is written on everything so I know that I’m not his biological father.
I’ve been sitting on this information for weeks.
It’s adding up now about how distant my wife has been with me.
I can’t talk to her, though. She’s in bits.
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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sure you all are. I’m so sad for you all.
It is more important to support one another right now.
You are your son’s father in every important way possible and whether he is your biological child or not, that will never change.
Find help through Macmillan Cancer Support (macmillan.org.uk, 0808 808 0000).
Find a counsellor through the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, (bacp.co.uk, 01455 883300) who can help you to address your concerns about your relationship.
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