My mum loves to treat my sister's kids but she's so tight with mine
5th September 2020

DEAR DEIDRE: I LOST my rag and told my mum and her partner that they were being tight with my children. Now they won’t speak to me.

I’m a man of 35 and my mum is 58. I’ve kept quiet, watching Mum buy gifts for my sister’s two young children and giving them cash.


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I don’t begrudge them having money – they’re just kids – but my two kids get nothing.

My children are now eight and ten and they saw their grandma give five pounds each to my sister’s five and nine-year-old.

My kids got in the car and said they would have liked some pocket money.

I saw red, went back inside and told Mum that I’d kept my mouth shut for too long and why did she not like my children? I didn’t get an answer other than she and her partner asking me to leave.

DEIDRE SAYS: You’ve said your piece and they asked you to leave rather than things getting even more explosive. Best now go and see your mum, say sorry for your outburst but try to find out her reasons behind not treating their grandchildren the same way.

Maybe your sister doesn’t have so much disposable income as you, for example.

You’ll find it helps to use the assertiveness techniques in my e-leaflet on Standing Up For Yourself, which could be subtitled “Without Losing Your Rag”.

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