My girlfriend is religious and refuses to have sex before we’re married – The Sun
29th March 2020
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DEAR DEIDRE: MY girlfriend refuses to have sex before we’re married.

I’m holding back on proposing until we do it – to be sure it’s going to be OK. But I don’t know how to tell her that without sounding as if all I want is sex.


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We both live with our parents and have never made love. I did with previous partners but she says it’s against her culture and religion. I’m going along with that but am feeling tempted to cheat.

I suggested we start saving for our wedding but she went mad, saying I spoiled the surprise as I should have proposed first. I’m 27 and she’s 23. We’ve been together for a year. I’m not sure how to handle this.

DEIDRE SAYS: Are you two going to be right for one another long term?

It’s not just the cultural differences. She sounds to have very fixed ideas and is not very open to flexible negotiation.

That could complicate married life even if your sex life does work out well.

Tell her you are having second thoughts and see if that leads to more constructive discussion. If not, maybe best accept she is not the girl for you.

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