I've met the most amazing man – but I feel like I'm cheating on my late husband
14th April 2022

DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN my husband died, I assumed that was it for me – I’d had my one big love and unfortunately lost him early.

But three years on, I’ve met the most incredible man.


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He’s kind, caring and great with my grandkids, who are 14 and 12.

He is 67 and I am 62.

We met at a tennis club. As both of us had turned up alone, we got matched to play a doubles game together.

Now we have been dating for almost six months.

Everything has been going really well, except when it comes to the physical side of things.

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We kiss and cuddle, but I can’t seem to go any further.

Even though my husband and I weren’t intimate for years before he died, I still feel like I’m cheating.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Many people struggle to enjoy the physical side of a new relationship after losing the person they expected to spend the rest of their lives with.

There is no rush, and I’m sure your partner will understand if you tell him how you are feeling.

Be kind to yourself and rebuild one block at a time.

MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE

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It might help to speak to a counsellor.

Reach out to Cruse (cruse.org.uk, 0808 808 1677) – they’ll help you work through your grief and guilt.

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