I can’t get an erection with the girl I fancy – it's never happened before
11th October 2020

DEAR DEIDRE: I FANCY a girl like crazy but I can’t get an erection with her. My nerves kill everything off.

I’ve had sex with a dozen partners and this hasn’t happened before. I’m 26 and this girl’s 24. I started flirting with her at work four months ago. She began coming back to my place for the evening but I still haven’t managed to have sex with her.


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She has been really nice about it so far but I worry it will happen every time because now it is in my head that I’ll fail.

DEIDRE SAYS: It is sheer anxiety blocking your sexual responses, so don’t let this relationship be all about trying to have intercourse.

So far as rules allow, go out together, even if it is only to walk and talk. If you are in a bubble, try getting closer to her but don’t rush to try to have intercourse. 

Focus on enjoying kissing and touching one another in the moment. My e-leaflet on Solving Erection Problems explains self-help.

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