Even when a relationship starts off strong, maintaining forward motion as a couple can be hard. Both you and your partner may continue to evolve individually, and sometimes, your relationship can evolve right along with you. But even though sometimes it seems like growth has the potential to bring a couple closer, it could also end up tearing them apart. Even though the things you’ll notice if your partner’s growing out of your relationship might be painful to acknowledge, avoiding the issue could lead to more pain and confusion later down the line.
We are all on our own individual journeys in life, but a solid relationship can bring a lot to the table. That said, it can be difficult to realize when a relationship is no longer serving both parties involved for the better. Sometimes, two people change more than they could’ve anticipated and the partnership just doesn’t work as well as it once did. If you’ve found yourself feeling a disconnect between you and your SO, it could be that one of you has begun to outgrow the relationship. If your partner’s the one who seems ready to move on, the following warning signs could mean your ‘ship is headed toward some choppy waters.
1Being together is no longer stimulating.
There may come a time in your relationship when the intense excitement and "newness" starts to die down and the connection feels more relaxed — and this isn’t always a bad thing! However, if you (or your SO) are no longer feeling any chemistry, it might not be a good sign.
"The kind of thrill and chemistry we feel with our partners at the start of a relationship comes from the thrill of being challenged by someone new to open up to another person, to share yourself," intimacy coach and sex therapist Irene Fehr previously told Elite Daily.
"If you are not learning and growing through the relationship, it can feel stagnant and boring once the initial endorphins and chemistry wear off," online dating coach and relationship expert Damona Hoffman previously told Elite Daily.
Has your partner mentioned feeling bored or restless? If so, they might not feel like the relationship is as engaging as they’d like it to be.
2They’ve started pulling away.
Although being "challenged" in a relationship might not be a priority for everyone, if growth is important to your partner, then they could start pulling away when things get stale, noted Fehr.
"When a relationship stops being challenging to partners, it’s common to see couples pull away from each other and lose connection as well as sexual eroticism, which often leads to sexless relationships," explained Fehr
3You resent their success.
Resentfulness is a common emotion, but dealing with it inside of a relationship can definitely be a sign that two people are no longer on the same path.
Life and relationship coach Jonathan Bennett told Bustle that if you become resentful of an SO’s success, it could be because they’ve grown out of the relationship.
"You both have different life trajectories and the gap will only grow and make the situation worse," Bennett told Bustle.
4Your values are no longer aligned.
Compromising isn’t always easy, but it’s an important part of making sure both of your needs are being met. However, if you feel like your relationship requires more compromises than you’re comfortable making, this isn’t ideal.
"Every relationship involves compromise, but if values are too different, it may be time to end the relationship and move on," licensed therapist Kimberly Hershenson told Bustle.
Deciding if it’s time to let go of a partner can be tough, especially in situations when you still have feelings for each other. But on the flip side, putting a breakup off once it’s clear you’re no longer moving in the same direction might not be the best investment of time and energy, either. Follow your gut, and if any of these signs ring true about your relationship, it might be time to sit bae down for a conversation.
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