A SEXPERT has revealed the “toxic” relationship trait most women have and why it makes your partner behave worse.
Columnist Nadia Bokody said that she has been left baffled by the way some men live – from not doing laundry to bad personal hygiene – and claims women make it worse.
The Aussie love guru wrote in her latest column for News.com.au: “Do straight men know how to take care of themselves?
“This is a legitimate question I’ve found myself asking recently.
“And not just because it’s rare to sit at a table of women and avoid discussion of a boyfriend who refuses to put his soiled underwear in the laundry basket, or a husband being praised for participating in basic parenting. (Read: ‘Dave watched the kids all weekend to give me a break. Aren’t I lucky?’)”
She added: “There’s the friend who gave her significant other oral sex because she was so thrilled he cleaned the house while she was away one weekend, and the work colleague who had to sneak new underwear into her husband’s drawer, because he refused to buy more – despite his undies quite literally having faded away into stray threads.”
Nadia claims that women’s reaction to this behaviour is “toxic” and making the situation worse.
She explained: “As a culture, we commend men for being ‘good guys’ and encourage them to proudly wear this term as a badge of honour.
“And the only qualifying factor for earning such a title is having made it through adulthood without hurting or disrespecting a woman.
“These men, we tell women – the men who don’t assault and degrade us – they’re the cream of the crop, the best we can hope for; the ‘good guys’.
“The bar has sunk so low, merely acknowledging a woman’s humanity is enough. Anyone who suggests otherwise is a misandrist.
“Perhaps it’s because we’re indoctrinated to believe having a male partner is the greatest goal we can aspire to in life.
“That, being picked by a man is so covetable, it’s worthy of overlooking not ever actually feeling like an equal in the relationship.
“I see examples of this all the time – women fawning over their boyfriends and husbands for the most minuscule of contributions to their relationship, as though praising a child for doing homework.”
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Nadia pointed out that research shows men spend a mere third of the time performing household cleaning tasks that women do.
And it gets much grosser than that; data collected by Ipsos found almost a quarter of guys don’t consider changing their underwear each day a ‘crucial behaviour’.
She continued: “Then there was the disturbing revelation I made last year while researching a column, when I had the unfortunate experience of exploring the underworld women’s advice forums on how to get their partners to use toilet paper.
“In a cringe-inducing 2019 Reddit post, a woman complains, ‘Every man I’ve been with, and I’ve been with men in varying states of grooming habits, has skid marks … Is wiping your butt a skill men lose over time?’
It’s not your job as a woman to convince him to contribute equally, nor to hand out gold stars when he does so.
“Another laments: ‘My boyfriend of six months is quite unhygienic … he constantly leaves skid marks on my sheets after sex … PLEASE HELP!’
“A trend that’s made its way around the internet more recently, known as the ‘My Place vs. His Place’ trend, sees young women show comparisons of their apartments with their boyfriends to highlight the startling contrast in cleanliness.
“Many of the scenes are stomach-churning to view, including decaying fast food atop a bedside table, a bathroom sink brimming with dusty hair shavings, and a shower that looks like it’s quite possibly never seen a bottle of Exit Mould.”
Nadia said that all boyfriends “know how to clean their apartments” and “research confirms there’s no such thing as gendered ‘mess blindness’, by the way).”
She concluded: “ It’s not your job as a woman to convince him to contribute equally, nor to hand out gold stars when he does so.
“He’s not your son, he can wash his own clothes.
“Also, let’s face it, no woman wants to have sex with a guy who feels more like her child than her partner.
“So, let’s stop praising men for doing the bare minimum and start setting a higher bar than the one we’ve been settling for.
“And guys, if reading this, please, for the love of straight women everywhere – go change your undies.”
Nadia previously revealed the real reason why men ghost women after having sex – even if you’ve made them wait.
She also shared the common lie told in the bedroom which is ‘hurting women’.
And a sexpert shared the four mistakes we’re all making in the bedroom and why you need to focus on ‘afterplay’.
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