I’d never let my man get close to women at work, having mates of the opposite sex can go very wrong, says Nicola Mclean
14th September 2021

I’VE seen work spouses go very wrong.

I’ve had friends whose husbands have work spouses, often their PA, and they get extremely close.

One such relationship ended with my friend’s husband leaving her for this “close colleague”.

The couple were really good friends and the excuse for them always being together was “it’s work”.

I always told this friend that it wasn’t right.

Two people do not need to be communicating as much as they do and I would not be allowing this to happen if this was my relationship.

She always said it was OK, that work was the reason for their constant contact – this was not the case.

I am very suspicious when somebody wants to be that close with a colleague of the opposite sex.

If there is a good relationship at home, there is no need to have a relationship like that with a colleague.

You need to understand that if you spend a lot of time with a member of the opposite sex, you are opening things up to going wrong.

As soon as alcohol becomes involved, or the work spouses go out for ­dinner, things can go awry.

One-on-one drinks with a man, I feel, would be putting myself in a situation that could be uncomfortable.

Crossing a line

I’ve had male friends who wanted more, they were not being platonic, and I’ve had it through work as well.

An important person in TV invited me out for lunch as a “work thing”.

I told my husband Tom I was worried and I didn’t think it would be a platonic thing – he said I should go and that I was being crazy.

But it was exactly what I thought it would be – he tried it on with me.

If my husband had a best friend at work who was a woman, I would be uncomfortable with that.

If it was someone he was going out for lunch with, having particularly good banter with and not telling me about, that is sneaky and verging on cheating.

I’m a secure person, I’m not jealous. I’m just smart and if I found out he had a banterful lunch with a woman I would be livid.

But this would never happen as Tom wouldn’t do it.

People are going a bit wild after all those long months in lockdown – and if you are craving the attention of someone else that isn’t your other half, then that’s not great.

It’s crossing a line if a person is sharing more with a work spouse than a partner.

If your other half has a work spouse, you 100 per cent need to be cautious – one half of the friendship will fancy the other.

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