I regret having sex so soon after giving birth… but the pressure was ‘all consuming’
27th December 2018

Writing for Kidspot, Jennifer Craig says her sex life with husband Jeff had always been very healthy – until they got pregnant with their daughter.

She explained: "I was paranoid, and no amount of doctor’s advice or Googling would convince me that being intimate with my husband wouldn’t cause any adverse effects to my precious cargo. And it just snowballed from there."

Body confidence issues followed, and Jennifer and Jeff came to a mutual agreement that they wouldn't even try to have sex until after the baby was born.

Jennifer added: "I loved him dearly for sacrificing what had been a regular part of his life but it also triggered some intense anxiety at the pressure of knowing that when the baby was here, I’d be on a countdown to getting down."

Jennifer's labour all went to plan and she was back home within a day, with the usual instructions to wait six weeks before having sex – but the thought of getting intimate "filled (Jessica) with dread".

She said: "I couldn’t think about anything other than having sex (or not having it more like!) I hated my postpartum body.

"I felt pressure over the fact that my husband was probably desperate for it (although he would never have said it to me) and I had a bubbling fear that our lack of intimacy would make him seek it somewhere else. It consumed me."

When they reached the six-week mark, Jessica and Jeff did take the big step.

She said: "Jeff had absolutely no clue that I was secretly dying inside. But when we finally got down to the deed, it all ended in spectacular fashion (and no I don’t mean it was awesome!)

"The sex was not sexy. It was awkward. Jeff knew there was something wrong. The fact that I’d been sprung devastated me and all of the pent-up anxiety flooded out as I burst into hysterics."

After the awkward encounter, Jessica and Jeff decided not to have sex again for the foreseeable future and, by taking things slowly, they did eventually get back on track.

Jessica has since spoken to lots of other mums who went through the same thing.

She advises others to talk to your partners, who will understand what you're going through, and to know your libido will come back eventually.

In more parenting news, this mum asked if she should wax her seven-year-old daughter’s ‘bushy’ eyebrows after school pals commented on them.

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